From The Archives:: Tricia, Photographer and Roller Derby Player

Slammin’, aka Tricia who I knew first in our photog circles, and then in our roller derby lives. A person of many talents, lover of dogs, and cracker of jokes. And another person I know who has had a fair amount of life changes as result of the Covid.

No work? No derby? Time to get back to the artist you are! What she’s been creating during this time has been some beautiful coasters and plant holders. It’s been one of my highlights when I sign into social media to see one of her videos showing her creative process. Art and creativity has definitely been what I have turned to during all of this, and I know I am not alone in that. Combine that with her past as a social worker, and she has a lot to share about getting through times like this.

Like everyone in this project, Tricia shared these words with me weeks before the protests. But her words remain relevant whether we are in a pandemic, a fight for civil rights, and any other uncertainty that comes along with big life shifts.

Slammin T Jammin at Maine Roller Derby Practice at the Portland Expo, sitting on the sidelines due to some shoulder pain.

Slammin T Jammin at Maine Roller Derby Practice at the Portland Expo, sitting on the sidelines due to some shoulder pain.

Name:  Tricia Jamiol

Occupation/Business: Formerly an operations manager at a small local business, but have since been laid off due to COVID.  And owner of Tricia Jamiol Photography.

1. What is one notable change in your life since Covid19 has changed how we are able to do things? Covid19 has changed everything in my life. I was originally told to work from home back in mid March, prior to the city of Portland issuing their shelter in place order.  I was then furloughed once the order went through, and a few days after that, completely laid off.  I went from a very predictable 60+ hours where I'd be out of the house working or playing roller derby each week to suddenly having a vast amount of time that I somehow needed to fill. 

It has also completely changed how I do life outside of my home. Masks are now a requirement, as far as I'm concerned, and my fiancée and I try to venture out once every two weeks to go food shopping and get any essentials we need from places like CVS or the pet store.  I hated food shopping before this pandemic, so I really hate going now.  Paying attention to all the rules, making sure I distance myself from other people, some of which who don't seem as concerned as I do about it, and wiping everything down when we get home is mentally exhausting.  I am a former social worker and 100% realize that all of us are living through a prolonged traumatic experience. That repeated exposure, for me, means that I typically have a couple of days where I can't do much and it's taken me a while to realize that 1) I don't need to be productive to the standards we had prior to Covid19 and 2) having those breaks and space to process, cope, grieve, is absolutely necessary. 

The other thing it's changed for me is my ability to play roller derby. Derby has been a constant in my life for the past three years.  Every week I knew where I would be on Monday, Wednesday and Thursdays for hours at a time. I would look forward to our Saturday bouts on an almost monthly basis and even the Sunday morning hangover bouts where my body was absolutely exhausted from playing the night before but there was no place else in the world I'd rather be.  I sometimes spent 12 hours a week doing derby related things. Covid ripped all of that away from me seemingly without warning.  As I'm writing about all of these changes, writing about missing roller derby is bringing tears to my eyes.  I miss my friends, I miss my ability to exercise, I miss being able to go to the gym twice a week for cross training.  I miss the body that I had from all of those workouts that so quickly slipped away once everything shut down. I miss the feeling of skating fast and hitting my friends at full speed while jamming.  I even miss waking up the next morning feeling like I got hit by a mack truck.  We've had a few Zoom meetings, which is nice because we can see each other, but missing roller derby hurts.  It also hurts knowing that even as states begin to open up, we won't be able to play such a contact-intensive sport for a very, very long time. 

2. What has been most challenging? See above re: derby.  Whenever I am grieving the loss of normalcy, 99.9% of the time it's because I'm missing derby.

3. Have you found any silver linings you care to share? Going from having no free time due to my job, roller derby, and my photography business, to ending up with what seems like an endless amount of free time, has given me a silver lining during this whole situation.  I've been able to throw myself back into my art.  Art, prior to derby, was how I processed things, how I de-stressed, and how I connected with myself on a deeper level. Sometime within the past year I stumbled upon epoxy and resin art on Instagram.  I had been wanting to try it for a while but I didn't feel like I had the time to do so.  I also had absolutely no idea where to start or what I needed to buy for it, so even researching it seemed unobtainable because of my busy schedule.  As soon as I was able to work from home I decided to buy the necessary supplies and give making coasters a shot.  Due to not having any patience, I completely botched my first set, as they never cured and were sticky and horrible-looking. It took another try with a bit more patience to get a new set to cure properly, and from there I've just been experimenting with different pigments and techniques and I'm having a blast with it.  The coasters have been super popular and I'm starting to branch out into different types of coasters (haha, this just cracks me up for some reason) as well as experimenting with alcohol inks, which is another type of fluid art.  You can make coasters out of alcohol ink, too!  I HAVE SO MANY COASTERS!  

Covid19 has given me the gift of being able to find a medium that would potentially allow me to create art for a living, which is something I've always wanted to do.  I am absolutely horrified by what it is doing to the world, but also, somehow, grateful for it.  It is a weird juxtaposition that I have some serious cognitive dissonance with, but I'm working on accepting the fact that sometimes, bad things happen and good things are able to bloom because of it. 

4. Are there any shifts you are hoping to stay in place as we move forward?

Going forward, when things return to "normal" I truly hope that I'm able to grow my art making in a way that allows me to do it for a living.  I've always wanting to work from home and have always wanting to be able to support myself through my art.  My photography business was a small way that I was able to tap into some of that, but because I focus on weddings, I never felt that I could fully devote myself to doing it full time. 

5. What are you most looking forward to being able to do again?

Hitting my friends!! When we finally have the ability to practice again with contact, I will literally be the happiest person in the whole world.  I cannot wait for roller derby to start up again.  With the news of Happy Wheels likely being able to open back up this fall, I am stoked. 

6. Anything else you want to share..?

I hope, after all is said and done, that we as a human race wake up. With the way things are currently, it makes me anxious to read up on the news. There's so much hate and greed that I can't really comprehend any of it.  I feel that this virus has brought humans to our knees, and in doing so, we were given a gift of a healing planet and the ability to see our impact on it, as well as each other. I hope, after all is said and done that humans can learn to be more kind. More kind to each other, to other living things and to our planet. 

Also, and I think this is super important: that people be kind to themselves in times like these.  I was a facilitator at the Center for Grieving Children for 14 years.  I helped run bereavement groups and during my time there I facilitated every children's group between the ages of 3 and 18 years old.  I've learned that with death, we need to grieve in order to come out the other side of it. Connecting with others who are sharing similar losses, talking about struggles, life, and accomplishments, and hearing others' stories is incredibly important when it comes to healing one's heart.  Obviously, we are losing so many people to this virus.  Being in Maine, I feel we are lucky in that our number of causalities and infections is relatively low compares to other places in the country, but with that said, we are still going through something incredibly hard.  You may not have directly lost someone, but you have definitely lost a sense of safety, normalcy, or predictability.  Those losses are huge and each of us has the right to grieve the loss of those things that are important to us.  I haven't seen my parents, sister and her family since early January.  I miss them terribly.  Thankfully, we have FaceTime, which is huge, but it doesn't replace the ability see, touch, and be with those people. Some days I am a grumpy asshole, other days I'm bawling at commercials on TV, some days I take naps for 3 hours because that's all I can handle that day.  I think it is important for others to know that this is okay.  That it's okay to take a break from life, whether that's cleaning up the house, or doing whatever chore you set out to do that day.  If you don't have the ability to take that break, then reach out to someone you trust and chat with them.  Share your feelings. They're probably feeling the same!  We are all in this together, and if there's one thing I've learned from the Center it's that those with shared experiences tend to feel more at ease knowing that someone else walking the same path they are.  Obviously, we don't wish bad things to happen to others so they can walk on a crappy path with us, but if life throws you a curve ball that you need to deal with, it's nice to have company or a listening ear.

***

Thanks Slammin’! Thanks for sharing so much whether it’s your words or your creativity. Looking forward to 1. Skating with you and 2. taking a coaster making class with you. Because, YES, I was and still am serious about that!





From The Archives:: Jess/Meow of Maine Roller Derby

Meow is what we call her in the derby world, but in her professional world she is Jessica (Jess? I don’t even know because although I do find myself in pieces of the real estate world, our paths don’t cross in that arena. Only in roller derby). Meow is an amazing derby player and also a great team mate. So, I reached out to her for my project.

This photo of her was taken at the former Happy Wheels (RIP). Hopefully one day we will get back to gathering in closed spaces with skates on, or to cheer on our friends in skates. But until then, I will continue to share a few more stories of these cool people I know who are trying to find their way in this new normal that keeps shifting….

Meow’n Em Down getting ready to do what she does during a closed Maine Roller Derby Scrimmage at Happy Wheels a few winters ago…

Meow’n Em Down getting ready to do what she does during a closed Maine Roller Derby Scrimmage at Happy Wheels a few winters ago…

Name:  Jessica Locke/ Meow

Occupation: Real Estate Appraiser

“ A lot has been challenging since COVID-19, but, probably the hardest part has been finding motivation.  Typically, I'm highly self-motivated, complete daily checklists, etc but I find myself excusing more breaks (Netflix) from whatever I am suppose to be accomplishing.  It's difficult to readjust my focus on what a "productive day" might look like now that I'm utilizing different systems/resources than before. 

A silver lining to this situation is the amount of quality time with my husband, Josh.  Honestly, at the beginning of shelter-in-place I thought we would end up fighting more but we really haven't. With nothing but time to share full and complete thoughts our ability to actually understand each other seems to have grown. Hopefully I didn't just jinx the whole situation. 

I most look forward to being able to travel again. Particularly,  we've had to push back going to see family in New York several times.  It's emotionally taxing not to know when trips like that will be able to happen.”

***

Thanks Meowmeow! Looking forward to seeing you in real time again and hoping that also involves roller skates ❤️

From The Archives:: Kelley of Wildflours Bakery

Kelley and I met years ago when I was newly gluten-free and trying to find yummy treats and I found myself in her bakery/shop. Then we became roller derby team mates. In times of chaos she is the one you want by your side or in your corner. And I think she has proven that during these ever-changing times brought to us by Covid19. She and her staff have adapted over and over to make sure they keep going and keep their customers safe.

This time has definitely showed us who can and will dig in and find ways to keep going. I admire Kelley for that. That small business owner New England style grit, coupled with a smile and a at times a sparkle in the eye. Which is why I needed to share this photo of her after being sent to the penalty box during a roller derby bout. It fits the times, whether we are dealing with a pandemic or not. Plus, it’s perfectly her.

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Kelley Hughes

Owner, Wildflours Gluten-Free Bakery

1. What is one notable change in your life since Covid19 has changed how we are able to do things? Both my husband and I are essential workers. So- juggling work, parenting and homeschooling has been a learning experience, for sure.

2. What has been most challenging? Trying to stay in the here and now. Thinking about the future and all of the “what-ifs”is a slippery slope.

I mean, there is a certain amount of business and life planning I can attempt, but I feel like for right now, I’m better served by a one-foot-in-front-of-the-other approach. 

3. Have you found any silver linings you care to share? Lydia, my 10-year old works with me a few early mornings a week. She’s been really helpful (she’s an expert donut glazer now) and it’s been fun to witness her pride in her work. It’s also created a new and sweet sort of bond between us. 

4. Are there any shifts you are hoping to stay in place as we move forward? I actually appreciate the slower pace, I hope we can hang on to a bit of that.

5. What are you most looking forward to being able to do again? Traveling to friends who live “away”. 

If you are looking for a gluten-free bakery, be sure to check out Wildflours on your next time through Brunswick, Maine! Or drive out of your way like some of us do because we need a tasty treat or a honey corn muffin…

Give Me Your Huggy Smiles

Is it better to share past moments as a reminder or better to share present moments, even if they seem less happy? Is it too hard to see reminders of what you can’t be doing right now?

Maybe. For some. But for others we need the reminders. The smiles. The glimpses of moments that make us feel, that remind, that ground us both in the past and in the present, while looking forward to what may come. Folders and folders of images unshared, blog posts unpublished. And I find myself looking at my work differently these days.

Leaguemates! Maine Roller Derby skaters Slammin’, Wrex, and Ax at Happy Wheels, December 15, 2019.

Leaguemates! Maine Roller Derby skaters Slammin’, Wrex, and Ax at Happy Wheels, December 15, 2019.

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In December our local roller rink closed. This winter a story was published sharing news of the possibility of another rink to be built. In March the Corona Virus showed up on our shores and everything started to change and shift quickly. Weeks into school closures and stay at homes orders, I find images in my folders needing to be shared. Friends sharing final moments on skates, at a roller rink that no longer is, way before we knew that soon all sports and gatherings of people would also come to a halt.

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So, do we share these moments and risk feeling sad? Or do we share and remember and smile? Find a thing to focus on, a thing to get back to…?

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I think we share. We keep pushing forward and tell the stories and share the moments but somehow remember and focus on the now at the same time. Because believe me I never thought I would be so badly craving having my camera capture a hug between friends/family/teammates/strangers. I always knew that’s where it was for me, I never thought I would have to know what it feels like to not be chasing down those moments.

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So, while I normally gravitate to the photos where people are less camera aware, or are at least not mugging for the camera, I am suddenly wanting more and more of the silly huggy smiles FOR the camera. These shared bits of happiness between people.

So, YES I can’t wait to get back to gatherings of humans for my camera to capture. But I also know some things will be forever changed. And that is somehow ok, even if we don’t know yet what it means.

Last Maine Roller Derby bout at Happy Wheels, 12/15/19. Happy Wheels Skate Center, Portland, Maine.

Last Maine Roller Derby bout at Happy Wheels, 12/15/19. Happy Wheels Skate Center, Portland, Maine.

All images in this post were taken at Happy Wheels Skate Center, Warren Avenue, Portland, Maine on December 15th, 2019 during the final roller derby bout at that facility.

For now, we skate separately on our neighborhood streets and basement floors…. waiting for the days when we can gather in groups and skate our hearts out.

Be safe & don’t forget to hydrate!

xo ~ jb

{Maine Lifestyle Photographer}: Roller Derby Practice

Do you know what kinds of people play roller derby?

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All kinds.

All backgrounds. All sizes. All careers. All of it.

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So, maybe it takes a certain something in your personality to get you to the point where you walk through that door and sign up to try out, but that one small thing in any of us isn’t enough to say ‘everyone who plays roller derby is ( fill in the blank )…’

Because they aren’t all one same thing. Except human.

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‘Roller derby is bad ass!’ people love to say.

Yes, it is. But that doesn’t mean everyone who plays fits into your mold of what bad ass might be. Because social workers and art teachers and writers and cooks and doctors and students and engineers may be sharing the track and the bench at any given time. The loud with the quiet, the assertive with the shy, the hot mess with the super orgnanized. All of it.

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Last night after my photo shoot, I met up with a friend for dinner. She had something she wanted to give me. It was a book of roller derby photos she found in Montreal. By a photographer who had also been a skater. So, that was pretty thoughtful and also a pretty perfect thing to gift me.

When I looked at it I felt like some of the photos could have easily been taken of my league, at one of our practice spaces. I looked for my friends in some of the images. It’s possible that thoughtful gift may have influenced this post which I didn’t really think about until I got to the very end of this quick post.

Fun how art and life keep influencing each other….

{Maine Lifestyle Photographer}: Maine Roller Derby & Names on a Jersey

Roller Derby. A full contact sport on roller skates. So welcome to day 4 of blogging every day for 21 days as I celebrate these athletes and encourage you to do the same.

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As you likely know, the US Women’s Soccer team won yet another World Cup this year. And you may have noticed a surge in people wearing jerseys with the names of their favorite soccer players on the back. I was loving reading about this, watching the inspiring videos, seeing the photos, and feeling the feels.

Progress for women in sports, when most of us know that women have been doing amazing things as athletes for years but rarely getting the seat at the table or the spot on the television. So, I’m here to remind you that right in your own backyard, whether that backyard is Portland, Maine or any other city wherever you may live, there is likely this awesome sport happening where unpaid athletes train hard and dedicate hours of their time to play a sport on roller skates and you can go cheer them on.

And maybe one day we’ll see kids walking around wearing jerseys with the names of their favorite roller derby player….

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The images seen here were all taken this winter at Happy Wheels Skate Center in Portland, Maine and feature members of Maine Roller Derby. You can find more info about the league here

{365} Photo Project: February

As I type this February is now behind us. I have been adding photos here all month so I would be ready to share and blog about another month of living the 365 photo project life. When I look at the images again I can see those days where we (or really I) was in the thick of it being February. So many indoor photos of homebody life, or occasionally getting outside only to meet up with people back inside. The days when I photographed a detail like my car or my kitchen counter or my floor, with only a few photos of anything happening outside. Maybe that will change now that March is here! (she types this as she looks out her window at the snow falling and another coating of white starting to cover the dirt and the pavement…)

But, here we are and here is how my February unfolded in front of my camera….

2/1 Olivia | Scarborough, Maine | waiting her turn to be photographed after her mom.

2/1 Olivia | Scarborough, Maine | waiting her turn to be photographed after her mom.

2/2 A hit to the face at roller derby | Happy Wheels | Portland, Maine.

2/2 A hit to the face at roller derby | Happy Wheels | Portland, Maine.

2/3 Brothers on Super Bowl Sunday.

2/3 Brothers on Super Bowl Sunday.

2/4 Trader Joe’s Parking lot | Portland, Maine.

2/4 Trader Joe’s Parking lot | Portland, Maine.

2/5 at trivia | Gorham, Maine. ps we won!

2/5 at trivia | Gorham, Maine. ps we won!

2/6 On my floor.

2/6 On my floor.

2/7 Another slice of my life.

2/7 Another slice of my life.

2/8 Another afternoon with Jamma and Button.

2/8 Another afternoon with Jamma and Button.

2/9 VW.

2/9 VW.

2/10 Hanging with the niece and neph, and creating animojis until my battery wears down.

2/10 Hanging with the niece and neph, and creating animojis until my battery wears down.

2/11 Crafty.

2/11 Crafty.

2/12 Snow Storm happy hour with Amy.

2/12 Snow Storm happy hour with Amy.

2/13 Snow storm day, so here’s more finding light and home decor.

2/13 Snow storm day, so here’s more finding light and home decor.

2/14 Valentine’s and afternoon distraction.

2/14 Valentine’s and afternoon distraction.

2/15 Leaving the Hospital | Portland, Maine.

2/15 Leaving the Hospital | Portland, Maine.

So, confession time: I have a policy with myself to not change my mind once an image is picked, but on the 15th I posted a different photo and I now feel I made the wrong choice. So the photo above is the better photo, in my opinion, than the one I posted on FB. The one I chose originally was a little more dramatic and had more colors and light happening, but there are technical issues with it that bother me. SO, I went back to the one I felt I should pick. Yet I still question if choosing this one is the easy choice. The bottom line though is this image is better technically, and I like the different pockets of color. AND the human in the corner. I was intentional on my part to keep him in the frame.

On a personal level this was also a week where more than one family member was in a hospital for varying (hopefully temporary) life setback kind of things. It’s possible my head was not in the best place during this week, so my decision making was a little clouded. It’s also possible I wanted to somehow capture what was going on that week, but didn’t want to share other people’s personal happenings on my FB page because that’s not really my place.

This is one of those 365 photo things I still haven’t mastered. At times I am definitely protective of other people’s privacy, which seems like a contradiction when photographing and sharing your life everyday. But I know it’s not always my story to share, whether that’s a family member having medical things or even clients needing photos but not wanting them shared until they are ready, since it’s their story and their message…

Privacy in an era of oversharing. Ha! A whole different topic, so let’s get back to February and photos, shall we?

2/16 Roller Derby spectating with my heartshadesquad pals | Happy Wheels | Portland, Maine.

2/16 Roller Derby spectating with my heartshadesquad pals | Happy Wheels | Portland, Maine.

2/17 Sunday lunch and shopping with GG and Ablock | Sebago Brewing | South Portland, Maine.

2/17 Sunday lunch and shopping with GG and Ablock | Sebago Brewing | South Portland, Maine.

2/18 Kitchen | Playing with my old 50 and shallow DOF.

2/18 Kitchen | Playing with my old 50 and shallow DOF.

2/19 Kitchen Copper.

2/19 Kitchen Copper.

2/20 Broth time.

2/20 Broth time.

2/21 Basement Sweat Station.

2/21 Basement Sweat Station.

2/22 the day we celebrated National Margarita Day.

2/22 the day we celebrated National Margarita Day.

2/23 at Crisp | Scarborough, Maine.

2/23 at Crisp | Scarborough, Maine.

2/24 OMG it’s my kitchen. AGAIN.

2/24 OMG it’s my kitchen. AGAIN.

2/25 Art in a coffee shop | CIA coffee shop | South Portland, Maine.

2/25 Art in a coffee shop | CIA coffee shop | South Portland, Maine.

2/26 Family.

2/26 Family.

2/27 Oh, there’s a snowflake in one of our windows I forgot was there!

2/27 Oh, there’s a snowflake in one of our windows I forgot was there!

2/28 Brunch with Chem | shooting with the nifty 50 and my coffee comes to me in this mug | Sinful Kitchen | Portland, Maine.

2/28 Brunch with Chem | shooting with the nifty 50 and my coffee comes to me in this mug | Sinful Kitchen | Portland, Maine.

And that’s a wrap for February! I always want to end it like a film set with a big “THAT’S A WRAP EVERYONE” and we all clap, but also that’s more attention than I really like. So for now, just a quieter mini high five to myself and other photog pals for completing another month in the world of documenting your every day life, every day of this year.

* (Insert Judd Nelson fist to the sky final image at the end of The Breakfast Club here and every month of 2019)*

Stories Behind Photos: How much do you want to know?

How much do you want to know about a photo? The whole story? Enough information to understand the image on a small level, but leaving some curiosity? Nothing at all so you can enjoy it for yourself?

This is something I think about. I am not necessarily in one mindset over the other, because I see the benefit of sharing information but also understand the need to let people form their own opinions. I do know I often won’t read super long posts and over the top descriptions of images. Yet, it seems lately people respond to my images more if there is at least some context included. Some story. Some information. Some way to connect us and make us feel something.

So how much do you want to know? Do you want to know more about the people who trust me to be in their space with my camera(s)? Does a little story or background help make the image stronger? Does it help you/any of us connect more?

Maybe it doesn’t really matter. I know sometimes we want images to speak for themselves, but I personally love to know the stories about a photo subject, even if it’s just a little snippet of information. Photos do connect us, and stories can make that connection even stronger.

Spry.

Spry.

Here’s an image I like because I know the subject and it shows me things about her that I know or have observed in the roughly 7 years we have known each other. But if you don’t know her, you may or may not like the image, and it may be for different reasons. If you know her, you may react as some of my pals have liking the photo of this person you know and enjoy.

I photograph Spry sitting on the bench between roller derby jams often. I gravitate to her during game time when I am there with my camera. It may be because we are friends, but it may also be because sometimes she is sitting in just the right spot, or because her face is expressive/animated when she is sitting with her team mates. Maybe it’s the Maine tattoo on her shoulder, or the way the MRD logo stands out when not covered by a ponytail or long hair. Maybe it’s because I know one of these will work out and will give me an image I like.

And when I look at this one I also see that hand gesture and head tilt - a very human moment. How much more do you want to know? Because I also want to point out when I see that hand gesture I chuckle a little because of that crooked pinky from that time she broke it all these years ago, I believe from a mechanical bull riding accident. But maybe that’s her story to share and not mine.

Did I tell you too much?

Or do you still want to know more?